RandomFailure

Thanks to the kids from South Park for the quote.

One thing I forgot from the other day (“Overexposure”) was Mel Gibson and his new film. All this just goes to show that when you’re unsure of how something will go over, make it controversial, and get all the free buzz you can. If you recall when this movie was first proposed, everyone thought Mel was off his rocker, just like his character Martin Riggs from Lethal Weapon. I know I’m not the only person who is making this connection. Just scan some of the headlines and see for yourself.

In the paper this morning, there was a front page article showing three local residents who had seen the movie (in case you don’t know, it’s The Passion of the Christ), and the facial expression on all three was the same. Somewhere between “I think I’ve swallowed a bug” and “I really have to poop.” Pursed lips and stern expressions.

And of course there are those who claim “it’s in the book!” I don’t know if they’re talking about the film-related merchandise (more on that in a moment) or “The Book.” The obvious point that most people seem to have suddenly forgotten was that this film was test screened and re-edited for months. So ultimately, it was designed to be a film to put butts in seats, as opposed to something Mel wanted to make in the first place. Of course, all the controversy didn’t hurt either. Since I didn’t see any of the TV interviews with Mel, haven’t read any of the articles, and won’t see the film, this is mostly a guess on my part, but I have a feeling that I’m right for a change.

I’m also a bit surprised that there’s no moral outrage regarding the merchandising of the film. Of all films where you’d expect there to be no tie-ins, there are several, including a “cross nail” threaded onto a leather cord. At least, that’s what I could glean from scanning the pictures accompanying a second article in today’s newspaper.

Wow! Dubya must really be feeling the election pressure, to suddenly want to appease the religious right and propose a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Apparently, this has become a much larger problem than job loss/the economy, healthcare, and the war on terror. Oh, and bigger than steroids, too!

My favorite argument for this has been those people who resort to the dictionary to define marriage. “The dictionary says it, so it must be so!” And my dictionary defines a “moron” as “a stupid person; a dolt.” So there!

Of course if they really want to defend the “institution of marriage,” then maybe they should consider banning divorce. But that will never happen, because how else would politicians get their trophy wives?

But if they insist on limiting marriage to between a man and a woman, let’s go whole-hog, and prevent the following people from marrying as well.

• Stupid people (think of your own example here, I’m sure you have plenty). Because we all know that when stupid people breed, they’ll have stupid children, and well, we just can’t have that, now can we?
  
• Stupid famous people (e.g., Paris Hilton). When you look right into the camera, don’t say you didn’t know it was there.
  
• Stupid famous ugly people (e.g., Nicole Ritchie). Or should this be “stupid famous skanky people?” It’s just wrong.
  

Of course, in my ideal world, I’d get to kill all the stupid people. And since it’s my idea, I get to decide who lives and who dies.

…end fantasy…

Must be some really slow news days of late, based on the inundation of worthless fluff I’m receiving via newspaper and TV.

First, there’s the finale of Sex and the City. I can’t figure out why everyone (except me) is ga-ga over this boring tripe. Yes, I’ve tried watching it on the recommendation of others, and was bored out of my mind. I really don’t need to watch a TV show about four aging, borderline attractive, gold-digging sluts. I can see that stuff for free just by walking over to Rittenhouse Square.

A. Rod going to the Yankees, and I’m a Yankees fan! Though it’s mostly the whining of the Red Sox fans who are still pissed that they couldn’t get this deal done. I’m still surprised it happened. It will obviously put butts in seats, but will it win a World Series? If not, expect to see Steinbrenner have a stroke on national TV. He is getting old…

And now to get marginally serious, there’s Ralph Nader and another pointless attempt at running for President. Ralph, America is not a Ford Pinto. And you seriously screwed up the country in 2000. I only hope that people will just ignore him entirely, though that’s unlikely. At least, don’t vote for him! Unless, of course, you’re a Republican, then you want people to vote for him.

Not getting enough press: the currently on-going coup in Haiti. Guess this is less important to merit front page consideration in the Philadelphia Inquirer than the proposed Disney-Comcast merger and the Biosphere. (Yes, that Biosphere.) But there was a small picture, but that’s only because a burning building looks better in color than black and white.

It’s been a rough week, motivation-wise. Had trouble all week staying focused at work, for no particular reason. It’s sure not Spring Fever – not nearly warm enough for that yet. Maybe it has something to do with being at my current job for just over a year now (happy belated anniversary to me!), though I don’t know why that would do it. All I know is, my focusless funk will now cause me to go into the office over the weekend to get stuff done. And I only have myself to blame. Looks like a good week for a Friday Happy Hour to me!

It all started on Monday (Feb 09, 2004), with the full-page Disney newspaper ad. It was on the back of the front section of the Philadelphia Inquirer, and it was a huge picture of Mickey Mouse with the tag line “The World’s Leading Family Entertainment Brand.”

I don’t know if this was a response, albeit delayed, to the Super Bowl Boobgate (or “unplanned wardrobe malfunction” if you prefer), or something relating to the upcoming Disney shareholders’ meeting which will take place here in Philly the first week of March.

Or was it somehow strangely prescient of Wednesday’s announcement of Philly-based Comcast’s bid for Disney? Talk about setting off a journalistic orgasm! Pages and pages of coverage of a deal that seems unlikely to happen for several months, if ever. Not only locally, but in the Wall St. Journal as well. Must have been a slow news day.

And no, that’s not a Led Zepplin reference, just coincidence.

OK, there may have been a little bit of confusion about yesterday’s post re: Valentine’s Day. I still think it sucks, but I’m not really as down and bitter as it may appear. Besides about 85-90% of that was copied verbatim from something I wrote way back on February 15, 1999. I’m generally happy-go-unlucky.

To alleviate any further possible confusion, let me make this perfectly clear: this stuff is written with heaping gobs of sarcasm, a healthy dose of cynicism, and a tinge of smart-ass. Basically, things that are difficult to convey accurately in print. (Not to mention frequent trips to the dictionary to make sure I’m using all these words correctly.)

Now to prepare you to read this blog, please perform the following:

1. Open your mouth and stick out your tongue.
2. Touch the tip of your tongue to the inside of either cheek. (If you can touch the outside of either cheek with your tongue, you’re probably a carny.)
3. Close your mouth, but don’t bite your tongue.
4. Now read.

If you actually did go through all those steps to read this with tongue in cheek, please raise your hand.

If you just raised your hand, you probably aren’t going to get a lot of this. Subtled nuance is the order of the day.